Divorce: Understanding Why My Child Is Having a Hard Time Moving Forward

Grief, anxiety and anger are normal responses to loss. Going through a divorce is sometimes as painful as grieving over a death in the family because you are literally losing one physically. This is more so for the kids. Love, reassurance, and unrelenting support for them will help them heal, but understand that sometimes, the pain is just overwhelming for them to bear and this may cause a long-term problem.

Why is it hard for my child to move forward?

Trauma -- Trauma is not the event itself but how your child perceives this event. Different children in the same family may react differently to divorce that is why no uniform divorce help can work for everyone. It is not one size fits all. Trauma may cause anxiety or depression immediately after the separation or years later. It may come occasionally like weekends, holidays, or happenings when a child feels he needs a complete family unit. Whenever it is, you should be mindful of your children’s behavior to be able to prevent things from getting worse.

Anxiety – Major changes are overwhelming both for children and adults. It is natural for kids to be anxious about tomorrow and what other future happenings may come after the divorce. Will they be transferring to a different house? Will they go to the same school? What will their friends say? If your kids seem to be worrying too much about everything, talk to them and tell them everything’s going to be all right and that you will never leave them. If their anxiety’s persistent, it may be good to seek more support from family and friends, especially your ex.

Depression – A serious kind of sadness that brings hopelessness and helplessness is possible to lead to depression. When you see your child withdrawing from you or their friends, or they neglect school and stop doing their hobbies, they may be manifesting early signs of depression and you must seek professional help to address it.